Post-Xanga

So I finally remembered what my xanga was yesterday and I'm checking it out now.

Wow...I was smarter back then. Definitely more diligent. But most of all, I think I was stronger spiritually back then.

When I first viewed my xanga I saw a lot of entries about my faith. Entries about how I was trusting in Him, how He strengthened me, and simply praising Him for what He provided for me continuously. After I signed in, I saw all the entries I privated. Reading everything again brought up a lot of painful memories. But looking back now, it's not the tragedies and disappointments I remember but my times with God, how He had brought me through it all and how He was always there for me. It's like the poem "Footprints in the Sand," it's the hardest times when we find we can draw closest to God...that He's there carrying us.

I promised myself something a long time ago; I will not become like my mother. Now don't get me wrong, I love my mother and I think she's an amazing person. But when it comes to her Christian faith I feel like she's lost it - she's become jaded. I'm afraid my heart might be hardening as well. I pray not.