I am sorry that I am deceived in him

Have to keep reminding myself of the promise I made to myself a while ago...

Samuel Rutherford once said, "Since He hath looked upon me my heart is not my own. He hath run away to heaven with it."
But if my heart is Yours O Lord, why do I wander away from Your unfailing love? Why do I leave the spring of Living Water to satisfy my thirst at dirty, broken, half-full cisterns? How long 'til I realize I will not find what I am looking for in this desert?
And when I had thought to have found a seemingly unending ocean, like a fool rushing into recklessness, I was caught in a storm.
But You, my Sovereign Savior, are my anchor. It is You who calms the wind and the waves. It is You who rescues me from the deepest, darkest depths of my own heart. And You who have sanctified the innermost chambers of my heart and said "It is here where the God of Heaven and Earth will dwell - in this place."
I'm sick and tired of searching. My feet are aching, my heart callused, squeezed of all its tears. My God, Abba Father, how I have missed You! So keep my heart O Lord, hidden deep behind the gates of Heaven above with You. Where one day another heart close to You may find mine.

Shakespeare said it best..."Is this the nature whom passion could not shake, whose solid virtue the shot of accident or dart of chance could neither graze nor pierce? [...] I am sorry that I am deceived in him."