Love is when someone sees the beauty in the brokenness of someone. It's when someone sees that potential which the other person can reach. Then result of love is when that person helps the other to refine and bring out that perfection inside of him/her.
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Thank you to everyone who came to my baptism yesterday. It was so encouraging to see people even more excited for my baptism than even I was (because I was mostly just nervous). It was also really helpful to see all the friendly, smiling faces when I gave my testimony. I really mean what I said at the end of the testimony (below). Truly a happy day, so once again, Thank You♥
My story's not one of those with a terrible past nor was it filled with horrid mistakes. In fact, I had a pretty good childhood, sheltered, but not bad nonetheless. My first realization of God was at seven-years-old. I remember realizing that someday I would die. I bawled hysterically. Thinking, fearing, what would happen? I began to cry more at all the things I would miss out on while my cold, motionless bones were lying in the ground. Then the questions of what would happen to me and what the purpose of life was plagued me. I started thinking about what my parents had told me... stay in school... go to college... get a job... earn a lot of money... get married... have kids... retire...die. (Well, they stopped at the retirement part but you get the point.) So I thought if the point of life was to earn a lot of money, then life is a game...whoever has the most money wins…like monopoly. But who determined things? Was it like Sims when I was in charge? Was life like that; some sinister being controlling everyone and choosing to send a tornado through the city simply because he/she was bored? If so, if life was a game like that, then it was a game I wasn’t interested in playing. So I figured there must be another purpose to life and I began searching. However by age fourteen, I had come to the conclusion that there was too much evil and suffering in the world for there to be a God and I became an atheist. My life became purely about winning and always trying to be the best in everything. Life was pretty horrible from there on. Some people blame it on teen angst; I like to say I had a confused view about life. The media told me to look inside myself and listen to my heart, but my heart had deceived me time and time again. Listening to my mind, I felt a lack of passion and became indifferent about life. After I while I became so confused I couldn't listen to either my heart or my mind and I didn't know where to turn anymore. Thank God that before I did anything stupid, God brought me to Herald Volleyball. There I met coaches who taught me about...volleyball. But even more so, as Christians, I saw their lives seemed different, happier, more fulfilling. I later realized it was because Christ’s love overflowed into their actions and gave them assurance about the purpose of their lives. As I continued the program they shared the Gospel with me, encouraged me to find a church and recommended Boon Church - which is how I ended up here. At Boon, I was both encouraged and challenged concerning the Christian faith. Nonetheless, old habits die hard and after a while Christianity became another thing that I was simply trying to get better at. I gained more and more head-knowledge about Christian theology, but my doubts and unbelief prevented an actual relationship with God. I grew increasing frustrated with how life didn’t seem more fulfilling than before. It was not until one day that I decided to blow the dust off my Bible that I realized how God personally pursued each one of us.
That day, as I was about to sign onto Facebook, my computer shut down, but the electricity in the house was only cut off to the things that distracted me. Thus I decided to follow my previous urging to continue with my Bible reading where I was up to the Book of John. As I read about Jesus’ sacrifice and promises that day, the barriers to my heart broke down. Jesus wasn’t a god who told us to repent or else go to hell, but rather He was the God who pleaded desperately for us to listen because He loved us and didn’t want us to face the consequences. But in the end He knew that we wouldn’t listen and He gave up His life for us. So while I still had questions at that time, they didn’t matter much anymore in light of Jesus’ personal sacrifice to take my punishment. By the end of the Gospel of John I had found myself down on my knees praying for repentance and making a commitment that I would follow Him as my Sovereign Savior. As I was praying I heard electricity return to the house as my computer started up again. But the true miracle that day had nothing to do the electricity; the love and serenity I felt that day is unsurpassable. Feeling as though Jesus was standing behind me with His pierced hand upon my shoulder, I knew that He died for my sins and that He loves me and would never abandon or forsake me. In that moment I stopped searching for the purpose of life; I realized that nothing in this short life mattered; instead all I knew was that I couldn’t wait to spend eternity with Him.
While life may not have become easier as a Christian, the promise of His faithfulness resonates in my life. His blessing are very apparent; they’re sitting right here in this sanctuary – both my families. The family whose blood I have running through my veins as well as the family I was brought into through the precious blood of Jesus shed on the cross. Thank you.
Baptized - 04.12.2009
